Who should you talk to first if you are separating?
Here are three main choices:
- You can look online for resources to get free legal information and do it all yourself
- talk to a lawyer
- speak with a family mediator
A family mediator is likely the best place to start.
A family mediator can provide you with information about the law, help you collect the necessary information, and help sort out the most important things.
For most couples, there aren’t any real legal issues. It’s more about figuring out the realistic options the two of you have. For example, what about the house? Can one of you keep it? Do you need to sell? Can you afford a new place?
Often, it’s more like doing your taxes or filling out a loan application.
And with mediation, you can settle quickly in a few weeks instead of the months and years involved in going to court.
But even if you go to a lawyer, you will still almost certainly settle. 98% of court cases settle before trial but only after one or two years and after paying tens of thousands of dollars each.
Finally, before a judge decides anything, the law requires that you must file a certificate that you have participated in mediation or another form of dispute resolution.*
If you have to do it anyway, why not start with mediation?
*The others are arbitration, collaborative law, and a parenting coordinator. A judge can waive participation in mediation.
